Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
