I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I CAN MOONWALK!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
