We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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