why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
