I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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