You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
