I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
