We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
