did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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