im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
