idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
