remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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