She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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