I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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