They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
