please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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