I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
