How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
