Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
