question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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