she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
