tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
