Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.

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(917): View more from New York City

OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.

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(805): View more from California

We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look

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(301): View more from Maryland

I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.

(301): View more from Maryland

Oh god, what has my life become?

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(916): View more from California

She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza

(916): View more from California

So we are banned from the campus dominos

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