how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
