K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
