Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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