Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i will never coherently bang her
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
