and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
