i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
