Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
