If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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