Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
so explain again why im purple
no
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
