I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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