i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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