so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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