the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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