Yo dont text me then not text me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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