We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
