So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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