Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
