so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
