So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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