...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
