I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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