i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
PANTIES FOUND
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