my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
