i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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