he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Success! We fucked roommates!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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