Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
