he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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