So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I need to calm my uterus...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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